


SSB: TAS episode 26: School

by Quartz2006



Series: Super Smash Bros: The Animated Series [26]
Category: Batman: The Animated Series, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Bullying, Dark, Depression, Gen, Humor, Past Character Death, Sad, School, University, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 08:28:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20672321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quartz2006/pseuds/Quartz2006
Summary: The Bat-Family teaches all the kids in Smash Bros math, science, and more! Are the kids happy about this?Note: I don't own the characters or the game, you the story





	SSB: TAS episode 26: School

“Alright class, welcome to your first day at school in UNIVERSITY GREEK!” Batman cheered. “I and the rest will be your teachers for the rest of the school year!”

“Yup, and we’ll teach you little shits about shitty school stuff-!” Says The Joker.

“SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH PIT!” Yelled The Scarecrow.

Pit whines, “B-but, I didn't say anything-”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CUNT!” Yelled Scarecrow again. “YOU HAVE DETENTION FOR AN HOUR! SHUT YOUR LITTLE ANGEL MOUTH ASS UP OR I’LL USE MY FEAR GAS ON YOU!”

“Whoa,” says Ymir. “Whatta start with a school day. I'm impressed.”

Batman then spoke, “Sorry about that class. Anyways-”

“Why are you shaking like crazy Kirby?” Questioned Ness.

“Ha! He’s scared because he misses his mommy! Ha! Ha!” Laughed Wendy.

“Shut up fat woman! You don't know what Kirby experience in his life before he came to Smash Bros!” Says Jean. “Or she in her life I should say.” He then smirked.

“Shut up jeans, no one even likes you in the class anyway and don't make fun of my hot sister!” Says Ludwig.

All the kids argued to shut up, and more. It finally ends when Two-Face pulls the trigger and shoots 3 times in the air. “SHUT UP YOU LITTLE SHITS! THE MAIN REASON WHY YOU KIDS IN SCHOOL IS BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS BEING RETARDED! Expect for Kirby. He’s ok. But… THE REST OF YOU ARE SHITS! PAY ATTENTION TO BATMAN OR I’LL PUT THIS GUN UP IN YOUR ASSES LIKE A FLIP OF A COIN!” He yelled.

Batman said, “Thank you, Harvey. Now for today's subject is Multiply! Harley Quinn will throw the sheets to you guys!”

Harley then throws the sheets of paper to the kids. Everyone got hit by the sheets on the head. Expect for Kirby. “Now get to work shits! We’ll check you guys in a few minutes!” Harley says as the Bat-Family left the classroom.

Right now, everything is quiet. And how they end up in school. Well my friend, here's a flashback of what happened.

Flashback

“Hey, guys!” PIt says happily as he came into the training room with a machine gun in his hands. “Look what I just made!”

The rest were shocked. “How in the bloody hell did you make that!?” Says Mega Man. “Your a fucking idiot to build!”

“Well blue man, I used my brain to build a machine gun.” Says Pit.

“Like you have one. By the way. What are you going to do with it?” Questioned Mikasa.

“I'm gonna practise shooting with this baby!” Says Pit.

“And where?” Questioned Nana.

“In here of course!" Pit says happily as he starts to shoot all over the place. The kids hide behind a table to prevent getting shot.

Pit continues to shoot like crazy until the Bat-Family and Mario arrived in the training room. 

"WHAT-AH IS GOING ON HERE!?" Yelled Mario.

The kids looked at Mario. They went silent until Kirby says, "Pit shoot inside the training room for no reason."

"Kirby!" Panicked Pit.

"This was the final chance Pit! And you-ah ruined it!" Mario growled. "That's it! I'm putting you kids in a school and the Bat-Family will be your teachers!"

"Wait? What? But Italian man, some of us didn't go to University." Says The Joker.

“But, here is the catch. If you teach these guys to be smartasses, I’ll give you guys money!” Says Mario.

“And how much?” Questioned Bane.

“Maybe a million dollars for one of-ah you.” Spoke Mario.

This got the Bat-Family smiling. “C'mon little shits!” Catwoman says as she used her 12-foot long on the kids as the whip wrap around them. “You're going to school with us!” As she drags the kids with her whip.

“W-what s-school are w-we going t-to?” Kirby panicked.

“I-ah put you guys in University Greek because University Greek is one of the best-ah schools in Gotham-ah City!” Says Mario.

This causes Kirby having a flashback from his dark days in University Greek. Even his worst school day. A tear falls on his cheek as he was dragged out of Smash Bros. The rest of the kids didn't say anything along the way. The Bat-family got more kids because Mario told them too.

Flashback end

Meanwhile, Kirby still shakes but manage to still do Multiply. He learned so much in his school when he was once a student here, and this was the class where he was bullied the most. Being called by students who were much older than him, he felt like committing suicide since the day his teacher got killed in front of him.

He still remembers her beautiful voice. Like an angel. He gets the flashback out of his head when he was the first one to finish the Multiply sheets. He was just in time, the Bat-Family came back into the classroom with coffee in their hands.

“Alright, little shits! Let's see does Multiply!” Harley Quinn says as she got all the sheets in one second. “My, some of you got the answers right! Expect for Pit! HEY ANGEL! WHY DID YOU GET ALL THE ANSWERS WRONG!?”

Pit panicked but he calms down and says, “Well, I uh? How do I say this? Oh yeah-!”

“He’s a fucking idiot!” Says, Mega man.

“A fucking idiot eh? Well, well, well, Mr. Pit, you're getting the spanking at lunchtime!” Says The Joker. “And I’ll do the spanking!” He leans closer to Man-Bat. “I spanked 2,000 children 5 years ago.”

Man-Bat mutter. 

“Now, Pit, go and sit on the corner and think about what you did.” Says Batman.

Pit stood up as he proceeds to the corner, then he sat down on the floor. Looking sad. Kirby used to get sent to the corner when he was a student, He didn't do anything wrong. He used to blame his gender for this, if it weren't for him being just a boy, he could have a great life and not get bullied. But life did this to him… he’ll never be a boy…. Forever he’ll be both genders… intersex…. A tear falls on his cheek as he began to sniff and whimpered. He's in his own world with no happiness… no chance…. No ... love…. Just himself in this cruel world.

A voice breaks his world. “Kirby?”

Kirby looks up, his eyes have tears on them. His eyes aren't blue anymore. They were light blue. Very light blue with a hint of sad sparks. “W-what…..?” He said slowly.

Batman looked at Kirby with sorry eyes. He sighs. “Come with me, Kirby…” He went to his desk as he picked him up. “Let's talk somewhere private…” Kirby nodded as they both left the room in silence.

“Anyways class, let's do some math questions on the board.” Says The Riddler. “Ok, the first question is…”

“Ha! Ha! Kirby cried because he misses his mommy!” Laughed Wendy again.

“I recommend you to shut up and leave him alone, he needs some time off the class,” Ness whispered to Wendy.

Wendy started to laugh again. “Who cares for that pink of shit, this class is better off without him!”

Ness pulled Wendy closer to him by dragging her bow. “Listen right here bitch, if you made one hateful comment on Kirby one more time I’ll fuck the shit out of you!” He then let go of her bow as he stares at her.

“Hey, sissy!” Whispered Ludwig. “Tell me another hateful comment on Kirby.”

“Alright, how about this: Kirby is nothing more than a loser who doesn't have a life, has a pedophile boyfriend, have stupid friends, and worst of all. His voice is annoying! Ha! Ha! Ha!” Wendy laughed as well as the rest of the Koppas. Expect Jr.

Ness got out of his chair and says to Wendy in an angry tone. “You wanna say that again motherfucker!?”

“Oh, whatcha doin’ to do? Spank my vagina? Ha! Ha! Ha!” Wendy laughed.

Ness took out his baseball bat as he says, “Oh, you want me to spank your pussy? Well, here you go!” He then beats her with the bat hard on the head, arms, face, legs and even the vagina.

Then Two-Face realized what is going on, then he yelled, “HEY! YOU STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!”

Ness didn't listen as he continued to beat her up with his bat nonstop.

“YEAH! BEAT HER UP LIKE SHE DESERVES IT!” Yelled Jr as he cheered on Ness.

“YEAH AND HIT HER PUSSY 30+ TIMES!” Yelled The Joker. “Oh, I love violence!”

Meanwhile, Kirby and Batman sat on top of the school’s rooftop in silence. Batman knew he hadn't known Kirby for a long time. But Batman needs to know what’s wrong and maybe help Kirby with his problems in his head.

“Kirby…” He says slowly. “Is there something wrong?”

Kirby sniffed. “This school reminds me of what happened 3 years ago… and I can't escape from the nightmares this school has…..”

Batman patted Kirby’s head as he says, “And what happened 3 years ago?”

“I don't want to tell you this but I had to since your my friend…” Kirby sniffed again. Then he sighs. “My favourite teacher got shot in front of me by a kid who hated her… and every day, I would try to commit suicide but I just can’t kill myself!” he covers his face with his hands as he starts to sob.

Batman stayed quiet. He still remembers his parents getting killed in front of him when he was just 5 by a mugger named Joe Chill, and that's why he became Batman, to avenge his parent’s death. He had Alfred but that didn't help him. 

He tapped Kirby’s head as the kid looked at the Dark Night. “Here, I made this for you since we met on the rooftop that day.” it was a blue mask. Not the mask Batman wear. The mask when Bruce wears when his cowl got stolen.

Kirby took it and put it on. “Thanks… I like it… I will use it when we go crime-fighting.” Then Kirby’s smiled return. Then he hugged Bruce tightly. Bruce hasn't felt this kind of emotional ever since his best friend, Harvey Dent became Two-Face. Batman let go of Kirby as Kirby put away the mask away then suddenly, a yell can be heard downstairs.

“We should go now, I think there is violence down there,” Kirby says.

“Yeah, yeah we should,” Batman says, then the two went downstairs to the classroom.

When they arrived, a table was thrown and it almost hit Kirby. "HOLY CRAP!" Kirby yells. Ness was still beating up Wendy as she laid there, not moving.

"What in God happened here?" Questioned The Dark Knight as he approached the others.

Lucas raised his hand. "Wendy kept calling Kirby mean names so Ness had to beat her up!"

"Class, don't you know violence isn't the answer to all the problems?" Batman says. He sighs. "I think it's time for you guys to learn the rules; number one: you do not hit each other. This is a public school and we don't want the other teachers to hear like we are maniacs. Second rule: no sexual acts in this class. Third rule: NO bullying. Fourth rule: no devices while the teachers are talking. The fifth rule: have fun learning!"

"And make sure you follow the rules on the board on the right!" Catwoman says as she pointed to a board with a whole lot of rules.

"ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH?!" Yelled Pit. "No now and arrows?! That's my thing!"

"Pit. I think they meant no shooting in the classroom." Kirby replied.

"Exactly Kirby!" Batgirl says. "No shooting! There had been very sad reports of school shootings in the USA that really need to stop."

"Anyways. Since you little shits know the rules, let's start with a math problem!" Says The Riddler. "First problem: Suzy took twelve big shits in the toilet and one hundred small shits in the bathtub. How many shits did Suzy shit?" The class went silent.

"Come on children, this isn't a hard math problem. We did this when we were young. Like grade 11." Says Ra's Al Ghul. Sasha raises her hand up. "Ah, Sasha. You got an answer?"

"Um? Is it 20?" She says.

"NO, YOU DUMB SHIT!" Ra's Al Ghul yells as he throws a chair at her. He took a breath. "Any other guesses?"

Jr raised his hand as he says. "I think I know the answer Mr. Ra's."

"Na an an an an!" Ludwig wines.

"Shut up Lud!" Jr says angrily.

"Hey don't tell me to shut up to big fat faggot!" Ludwig says angrily.

"Ludwig, did you say the f word?" Questioned Clayface.

"Um? Um? Maybe?" Ludwig tries to be innocent.

"Oh hell Nah! He's talking about faggots again!" Roy says.

"Roy!" Nightwing says.

"No, I'm not you faggot!" Ludwig says.

"Ludwig!" Killer Croc says.

"Man my pussy is bleeding!" Wendy wines.

"Wendy!" Poison Ivy says.

"Did you say yummy pussy!?" Says Larry.

"Larry!" Bane says.

"No, she didn't ass fuck!" Says Iggy.

"Iggy!" Mr. Freeze says.

"Shut the duck up pervert!" Lemmy says.

"Lemmy!" Says Scarecrow.

The class went silent again. Then Morton says. "Holy ass…." He says.

"MORTON!!!" Yelled Two-Face.

"What? It's just swearing! Fuck fuck fuck!" Ludwig says.

"HOE ABOUT A SPANKING FROM THE MAYOR!?" Yelled Scarface.

"HOW ABOUT YOU GUYS SUCK MY NUTS, YOU DUMMIES!" Yelled Ludwig.

The whole room gasped.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL MEH? YOU MEAN UGLY FACE HERE!" Scarface yells as he pointed to Two-Face.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I don't think you heard me?!" Ludwig got out a microphone as he yells. "HOW ABOUT TO GUYS SUCK MY NUT, YOU DUMMIES!!"

The Bat-Family gasped. Some of them have angry looks while others look shocked as their mouths dropped down to the floor. The class went silent once more.

"Here we go again..." Says Jr.

The Bat-Family took all the Koopas (not Jr), and throw them out of the school in angry. "AND WE WILL REPORT YOUR DAD FOR THIS!!" Yelled The Joker. He shut the window hard.

"See class…." Batgirl says. "This what happens if you mess with us…" her face is all red, like lava. “Y’know the usual!” she suddenly sounds happy. “Now class. We gotta get to work or none of you will succeed.”

A few hours later

This day had been a wild one for the Bat-Family. With lots of screaming, complains, and more screams. They taught the kids math, science, algebra, band biology. calculus, chemistry, computers, drama, English, geography, geometry, government, health, keyboarding, literature, music, PE (physical education), physics, science, and social studies. And they all fail. For now.

Meanwhile, in Smash Bros, Jigglypuff was making her famous cookies called: “Candy Cane Kiss Sugar Cookies.” She’s been making them when she first arrived here. Her cookies win cookie concerts many times in the past. She took them out of the oven as she went to the living room with some Smashers. “COOKIES!” She called out.

She gave each and everyone a cookie as she ate one cookie. “So what do you think about my cookies?” She questions.

“Yum! These taste so-ah good, I could put cream on it!” Luigi says.

“Yeah. But not-ah the inappropriate way.” Says Mario as he laughs.

“MARIO! YOU DUMB ITALIAN BASTARD!” Yells Luigi.

“Luigi, I was being sarcastic!” Mario lets out.

Then the door suddenly open to reveal the Bat-Family and the rest of the kids all covered in black dust. Something happened back in school, Meta Knight went running to Kirby. “Baby! What happened to you?!” He says in panic as he cleans Kirby with his cape.

“Explosion….. ‘Cause by the Koopas….” Kirby coughed as he falls to the ground. Fainted.

“What in the-ah happened?” Mario says as he went up to Batman.

“You see these assholes?” The Joker says sounding insane as he pointed at the Koppas (not Jr). “They think it was fun to get a bomb and almost destroyed the fucking school!”

“Whhhhhaaaaattttt?????!!!!” Whines Wendy. “It was jjjjjjuuuuuusssssttttt ffffffffoooooooooorrrrrrrrrrr fffffffuuuuuuunnnnnn!!!!”

The Bat-family’s faces were red as lava, they gritted their teeth together as they slowly crack, their eyes show the red veins. “If you assholes make another whining sound, I’ll use your heads as a bowling ball…….” The Joker says insane.

The Koopas didn’t whine until Ludwig whines. “Ffffffuuuuuuuccccckkkkkk oooooooffffffffffffffffff cccccccllllllllooooooooooowwwwwwwwweeeeeeeennnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yyyyyyyyyooooooouuuuuuu aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrreeeeeee nnnnnnnnooooooottttttttttttttt ooooooooouuuuuuuurrrrrrrr ffffffffffffaaaaaaattttttttthhhhhheeeeeerrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The Joker was so mad, he yells. “COME HERE ASSHOLES!!” He took Wendy first as he beat her up with a wrench hard.

“PLEASE-AH NO VIOLENCE IN THE-AH LIVING ROOM!!!!” Luigi yells.

The Joker grabbed Larry as he also grabbed a knife and stabbed Larry on the sides; he took Morton as he hit his head countless on the arm of the red couch; he hit Ludwig with a frying pan; choking Iggy to near-death (Iggy lived, shocking); he beat Lemmy with a huge bat; and he bashes him with Harley Quinn’s hammer. He kept o beating the Koopas while Jr disappeared just as The Joker were about to beat his brothers and sisters.

Luigi held to Mario as he yells at the top of his lungs. “MARIO! DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!”

Mario pushed Luigi out of the way. “PERSONAL SPACE LU-AHIGI! AND NO! I CAN’T NOT DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE THAT IS HOW HE IS!” Mario took a breath. “Now leave me alone my-ah brother!” Mario walks away as he stomped his feet.

Luigi sighs as he watched the fight while some Smashers cheered on The Joker beating up the Koopas.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> This story is actually based on what happened in my school (mainly in my class), lots of screaming and bullying, crying, and stupid choices I can't say! So you get the idea.


End file.
